Abandonfic is such a tease! A small critique, the line 'Slingshot was absent without known sobriety' felt a bit awkward. I had to read it a couple of times to see that he was missing and presumed drunk. Maybe 'absent and his sobriety was unknown' would be a better? On the plus side, I did like the line 'Prime ... blushed until his aura was tight against his hull'. Its an interesting way of viewing transformer physiology. :) Much better than the typical stuff I see in fics similar to human blushes. Otherwise, I did like this short fic a lot. How exactly do you see Megatron being ooc? Too languid even tho he's drunk?
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2008-07-31 05:12 pm (UTC)