The first one actually left me quite bewildered for awhile, cartoon-continuity-only-follower that I am, I thought perhaps it was a conversation taking place many, many years after the war, not before it (which, BTW, made the line, "Nothing. There're only so many jobs for warbuilds in Iacon, and most of them go to..." seem all the more amusing and ironic to me), but the Country Mouse/City Mouse feel of their conversation (a comparison that I'm inclined to wonder if you had in mind while writing) and Optimus's timidity eventually clued me in. I'm assuming this is early comic book continuity? At that point, the Country Mouse/City Mouse aspect was the most interesting part to me, and the description of Kalis was very pretty, but beyond that, you're dealing primarily with characters that have never held much interest for me, and softening them didn't really help there (didn't hurt, either, and it was admittedly appropriate for the setting... it just didn't help).
The second was cute and amusing. Prime's undying optimism (Optimist Prime! Heee!) made me smile (perhaps a bit sadly), and the end made me snicker, but that's about it. That said, I did find it a more enjoyable read than the first, but I don't really have any deep thoughts on it or anything beyond, "Heehee!"
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2007-03-29 07:19 pm (UTC)The first one actually left me quite bewildered for awhile, cartoon-continuity-only-follower that I am, I thought perhaps it was a conversation taking place many, many years after the war, not before it (which, BTW, made the line, "Nothing. There're only so many jobs for warbuilds in Iacon, and most of them go to..." seem all the more amusing and ironic to me), but the Country Mouse/City Mouse feel of their conversation (a comparison that I'm inclined to wonder if you had in mind while writing) and Optimus's timidity eventually clued me in. I'm assuming this is early comic book continuity? At that point, the Country Mouse/City Mouse aspect was the most interesting part to me, and the description of Kalis was very pretty, but beyond that, you're dealing primarily with characters that have never held much interest for me, and softening them didn't really help there (didn't hurt, either, and it was admittedly appropriate for the setting... it just didn't help).
The second was cute and amusing. Prime's undying optimism (Optimist Prime! Heee!) made me smile (perhaps a bit sadly), and the end made me snicker, but that's about it. That said, I did find it a more enjoyable read than the first, but I don't really have any deep thoughts on it or anything beyond, "Heehee!"