- The first one is a little frustrating insofar as there's not quite enough of it to make it click, for me. It'd be nice to have a bit more depth to the characters or a bit more explanation of what they're doing, as the presence of either would make up for the lack of the other. Intriguing though.
- The second one I like, not least because it looks suspiciously like a bash at a certain unused MR James prompt. ;) I like the final line, because it's such a charmingly inconsequential understatement that demands an (admittedly simple) intuitive step from the reader to realise what's happened, rather than just going "OMGWTFitwasreallythere!11!!" Love the opening bit of verse-ishness, too - nice rhyme structure and rhythms.
- *SPLORFLE*. What universe is this from? I love the repeated refrains of the way the two brothers speak, especially the contrast between the lyrical mode of speech and the deadpan humour ("Unfortunate is the man who continues to speak of such things after his brother has bought him a new pair," indeed! ^_^) Of them all, this is the one I'd most like to see continued. I get the feeling there's a lot of fun to be had with this.
[PS: Slaanesh presents his compliments to Scatha and hopes the hangover is better now...]
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2007-01-03 03:45 pm (UTC)- The first one is a little frustrating insofar as there's not quite enough of it to make it click, for me. It'd be nice to have a bit more depth to the characters or a bit more explanation of what they're doing, as the presence of either would make up for the lack of the other. Intriguing though.
- The second one I like, not least because it looks suspiciously like a bash at a certain unused MR James prompt. ;) I like the final line, because it's such a charmingly inconsequential understatement that demands an (admittedly simple) intuitive step from the reader to realise what's happened, rather than just going "OMGWTFitwasreallythere!11!!" Love the opening bit of verse-ishness, too - nice rhyme structure and rhythms.
- *SPLORFLE*. What universe is this from? I love the repeated refrains of the way the two brothers speak, especially the contrast between the lyrical mode of speech and the deadpan humour ("Unfortunate is the man who continues to speak of such things after his brother has bought him a new pair," indeed! ^_^) Of them all, this is the one I'd most like to see continued. I get the feeling there's a lot of fun to be had with this.
[PS: Slaanesh presents his compliments to Scatha and hopes the hangover is better now...]