I have 'favorite' phrases that I use as well, and those who know me can spot them if they look sharp (though I don't use them in every story). One of them describes 'velvet darkness' or 'crystal-black sky' (the latter was lifted from the Return of the Jedi novel and strikes me as a little nonsensical but just sounds cool). I sometimes liken the stars to 'diamonds scattered on a jeweler's black velvet tray', which was inspired by a Steinbeck novel ('The Pearl' IIRC) and a real-life experience of waking up on a road trip to see streetlights dotting a dark hillside. My characters either in sleep or concussion sometimes sink into a 'blessedly numb nothingness' or 'float in a grey twilight.' I also have used 'And all was darkness' as a bit of a dramatic ending. :P
Okay, enough rattling on about all that. I really liked this; you can really feel the tension, and you can hear the silence. I loved the description of the archway; it really brought out just how massive the thing was. Also the description of how the group is all wet and muddy; brings it from 2-D to 3-D very nicely. You've included some of my favorite guys in this, and it's cool to see them so focused. Reminds me that they are very good at what they do...
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Okay, enough rattling on about all that. I really liked this; you can really feel the tension, and you can hear the silence. I loved the description of the archway; it really brought out just how massive the thing was. Also the description of how the group is all wet and muddy; brings it from 2-D to 3-D very nicely. You've included some of my favorite guys in this, and it's cool to see them so focused. Reminds me that they are very good at what they do...