Yes. Most things get better when you can add dialogue.
I'm surprised you think this one is better; I was almost asleep when I wrote it. I don't think this will go anywhere, it was just kludged together for the daily exercise, so I doubt it will ever be touched again.
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2007-04-11 10:48 am (UTC)I'm surprised you think this one is better; I was almost asleep when I wrote it. I don't think this will go anywhere, it was just kludged together for the daily exercise, so I doubt it will ever be touched again.