koilungfish (
koilungfish) wrote2008-03-29 02:05 pm
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080329 - Quiet, part 11
29/3/08 - Quiet, part 11
         "What?" said Jazz, leaning over to look at Mirage around the Decepticon's corpse.
         "Why in here?" Mirage repeated. "This room is awkward to manoeuvre in without the artificial gravity - probably one of the most awkward on this ship - and it's not a room anyone would have cause to be in unless they were trying to manually open the section interchange blast doors."
         "Well, sure," Jazz said, shrugging. "Ship like this wouldn't need a big crew. Ten, fifteen tops. Probably were all on the bridge when it went down. Had to come out this way."
         "So they left the bridge, worked their way up the ship," Mirage said, skeins of annoyance weaving into his tone, "made their way through the blast doors - and then stopped, immediately, here, to torture their commander to death?"
         "Guess they were mad at him," Jazz said.
         "But why here?" Mirage pressed. Bother it, why did Prowl have to be injured? "Why not, oh, the outer airlock? They must have been in here for a reason, and the only reason to come in here is to open or close the blast doors."
         "Okay, so maybe the bridge caught fire or was gonna explode ... " Jazz said, shrugging again. "They had to bail out and here was where they stopped."
         "And that was enough to kill their commander?" Mirage replied, shouldering his rifle and leaning against what had been the floor. "Their ship was down, their gravity was off, their bridge was perhaps on fire ... and they killed their commander for that?"
         "Guess he wasn't very popular," Jazz said. He shrugged again, mouth pulling to one side in a sort of grimace. "I ain't Prowl, man. This sort of thinking jumps his circuits, not mine."
         "Prowl would be most useful here, I agree," Mirage said, "but I am reluctant to go ahead whilst we're still so uncertain of what happened here."
         "We're on a timer, 'member?" Jazz said. "Sooner we're in and out the better."
         "If the Decepticons were so eager to get away from their own bridge, surely we should consider why before waltzing in their ourselves," Mirage said, trying to get his point over to the saboteur. Oh, the perils of working with one whose mandate is essentially a solitary one. "Jazz, it appears that half the crew of this ship is dead for no good reason. What if the cause is on the bridge?"
         "Then why'd they dump their dead outside?" Jazz replied.
         "There is a third option," Smokescreen said, causing them both to look up at him. He seemed better for the few minutes rest, optics brighter and doors held higher. "They may have stripped and killed their commander because he wanted them to go outside, where the danger was, whilst they are holed up on the bridge."
         Jazz looked at his feet. "Man, talk about being halfway between Vos and Tarn and all outta gas." He looked up again. "Smokey, you're the tactician. Talk tactics to me."
         "I'm no Prowl, but my guess is that the crew are hiding on the bridge. They're afraid of something out here, sufficiently afraid to kill their commander when he tried to order them outside."
         "No," and it was Bluestreak, raising his head and rubbing his face. "They were running away from the bridge. They were running away and stopped here because they had the blast doors between them and ... it. And then they killed him for letting it out." He rubbed his sensor-crests. "I think I'm all right now."
         "You sure?" Smokescreen asked, nudging Bluestreak's door with his own.
         "Yeah. I just zoned out for a while," the gunner replied. "I'm fine. Why are there so many helicopters?"
         "What?" Jazz said.
         Bluestreak pointed at the Decepticon. "He was a helicopter, and he was in charge. There were three helicopters that shot at us. You said there were probably only fifteen of them. That's four helicopters in fifteen."
         "I saw two jets at least, dead," Smokescreen said. "A couple of armoured cars and a half-track or light tank. No helicopters."
         "But that is a high percentage of helicopters," Mirage said, concerned. Helicopters - Vector Sigma's way of proving that crazy and manoeuvrable mix well. Good thing Bluestreak is here. Good thing I brought plenty of ammunition.
         "Hey, we're indoors, they ain't so bad inside," Jazz said, trying to lighten the mood.
         "Unless they're the sort that use their rotors as swords, or carry flamethrowers," Bluestreak said.
         "We could get lucky," Smokescreen offered. "They might all be dead. It'd explain why everything's so quiet."
         "Speakin' of quiet, enough chatter," Jazz said, holding up a hand. "Time we got on with the mission. Come on, someone help me get these doors open."
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All the analysis of what happened is interesting. I almost hope it's something no one expects!
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Seconded. And yes, it's fun to watch (read about) them deducing.
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It will be Vortex with a helicowbell?
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Hm ... I don't know Jazz, the helicopters mightn't be so bad inside, but what they were running from probably is ...
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Helicopters are bad *anywhere*.
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So how bad are things they run from? ;)
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And you balance the characters very well, their not softy's, but neither are they invincible. They’ve got strengths and individual skills that are practically and sensibly utilized, but at the same time things can go wrong, someone can mess up, and they have fears and doubts and guilt etc. Well rounded characters that make sense to me.
I have to admit that I find this true for most of the story's you have written, but in Quiet, and I think it is at least partially because it is a longer story, the characters and their interactions really catch my attention.
On top of that I'm just a sucker for these kinds of horror/mystery stories.
I'm looking forward to reading more of this.
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And thanks again. It's always important to show the characters as being real, as having facets of their personalities that are both strengths and flaws. "Quiet" isn't really that long. I suppose it just seems long because it's being spread out over time.
I should probably get off my tailfin and write some then ;)
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But it isn't all that short anymore either, and it's getting longer. :)
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