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koilungfishUnfinished Fics: The Banner of the Landwaster - The Aeon Dreamers
The Aeon Dreamers
Madness descends upon the Earth, ancient terror rises from the deep, and the Transformers are trapped on a planet that's going rapidly and perhaps literally to Hell.
The Aeon Dreamers
Madness descends upon the Earth, ancient terror rises from the deep, and the Transformers are trapped on a planet that's going rapidly and perhaps literally to Hell.
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Cthulhu!! squeee!! prt3
Date: 2010-07-29 04:27 am (UTC)Question. given the importance of the issue, after his bluff was called, would Smokescreen have taken out the humans? I doubt he would have let them pass. Then again I'm moe of a comics fan, where the Autobots didn't always bow to humans and their orders, as they most often did in the comics
Niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice techtalk about space-bridges and 'warping!!
[Ironhide to Prime. A miracle's just happened.] and [He must be. He's so spooked he's forgotten to declare himself leader.] Heeeeeeeee^^
Also, I like how SENSIBLE Screamer is being. He knows, sort of, what's up and thus it's time to cut losses and haul tailfins outta there.
I love Cosmos and blast Off! Cut off from everyone, not enough fuel to get away so... afte a check that the cat really is away... let's play I-spy. I wonder if they played that until the skies below cleared...
Nice jump in events, and I like how bad in condition the Decepticons are (Thunder sure has bad luck with this... Mayhaps he, like TC2, would have become the seekers that get kicked out in the movie, as the voices don't fit the 'real' Thunder or Warp?
Annnnnd Soundwave's back and helping the Decepticons again. It isn't entirly clear what the Maurader was, would that have been elaborated on before this fight scene?
Hmmm, Soundwave can suddenly read Starscream and Megatron's thoughts? I thought the earlier works of Landwaster said that Soundwave could no longer read their thoughts?
I like the memory share overall (although you're right it doesn't quite fit with Aeon Dreamers) Although Megatron is a bit... uber. I love the guy and he is a powerhouse but... he seems almost Galvatron powerful here?
Again, I like how you delve into transporting and how your brought in Cybertron being in Earth's orbit in the list of referances.
Ah, I see now! Alright, Soundwave's uber hearing from before now makes more sense. I like the idea of him being audio domiant instead of optic. Very nice
And... ah, NOW the Marauders make more sense, also, they work very well visually ^^
MirageIsaSniper Yay! ^^ Also, powerful shot to cleave Warp's wing clear off. Yow
*raises hand* I'd vote in favor of the con ship from 'MtMtE' as opposed to the carrier, if only because my naval training goes OUCH when thinking of a gov't GIVING a carrier to anyone, that's a LOT of money that was just handed off. (Maybe hitch a ride on the Joe's souped up Carrier? The Flagg was stated to be far faster than an average carrier)
Has to be byakhees, Nightgaunts dislike or are unable to fly over bodies of water if I remember my mythos correctly. Hmmm, maybe Megatron went with Starscream to be a more imposing figure to the Autobots and thus help insure more time spent going to help his Decpeticons and less time blustering with Starscream? Also, nice way of showing the sheer numbers of the situation involved and letting the Autobots have a fairly cool moment as well.
I like the astringint as opposed to using water, which supposidly was all but unknown on Cybertron. Also I love 'Prime allowed himself a tinge of amusement as the Decepticon sent Sideswipe back twice.' YEP, that's Siders.
Hmmm, I'm not sure of Megatron's dislike of the Matrix, however it does work overall, although I'm surprised that Megatron implies that it is not powerful in an of itself, given the power the Matrix throws around, and that if he's guardian, he saw Prima using it (Also, green? So it's the creation Matrix not the movie Blue Matrix?)
Hmmm, not sure if I like the 'I'm a martyr' sequence all that much. while it gives a nice argument between Optimus and Megatron, both feel slightly out of character (Megatron more so) and I do believe you were right in thinking that the length of time spent chatting on the carrier about things not related to, y'know the world dooming them all ^^, is slowing the plot overall.
Also, I must wince a bit on the 'Cons rule and bots drool' segment, just as i wince when I see the opposite in Bot based fics. The two factions MUST be equal for the most part, given that the war has to all apperences been a stalemate for as long as it has. I do like the referance to how 'odd' the Cons act when over-energized, also I continue to love your poetic style of writing^^
Cthulhu!! squeee!! prt4
Date: 2010-07-29 04:29 am (UTC)Don't like martyrMegs, but I do love the delving into Cybertronian religions. Perhaps this could have been used during a different fic, there have been other truces, or opportunities for such. Also, I love how well thought out your Koipedia was on religions and languages, LOVED reading every second of it
*dances around* Xaaron! Xaaron makes EVERYTHING better, even if it's just a case of referenced by proxy! ^^ Perhaps the 'Emirate of Primus' is related to both making him the opposite of Builder-tied Trion and his later 'avatar of primus' status?
I like the con slogan, but again, I do think much of this would have been better served in a seperate fic, as it is very interesting and does advance the characters, however it doesn't quite fit in the 'time limit/elder god' plot and slows the travel time down (sorry)
Interesting development on Megatron, and this does fit in to this concept, and without the proceeding (and some of the following) truce 'talks' would fit well in the 'time liiiiiiiiiii-miiiiiiiiiiit' subplot going on.
oooooooooo, more info! I like the idea of Dust, junk and Skyscraper psychoses! Not sure I agree with how you portrayed the cons in this sequence, but I like that overpopulation became a problem for them, and some of the side effects that occurred.
*nods* You are right about Megatron being the movivating point and pivoing point of the war. Again, I'm not sure if this argument (and Optimus reveal/you rebuilt me) really fits in here, however it would have to be included somewhere in Landwaster in order to lay the groundwork down for the 'Guardian' reveal at the end.
Again, I want to restate that I like the idea of one of the reasons, though hardly the only one, that Megatron kept Screamer around was to have Starscream pilot a 'warworld'
"Just as the sun goes down behind the mountains, so too shall we go down. Hand-in-hand and singing shall we go down into the darkness, and the mysteries of Cybertron shall be revealed to us. We will go down into the dark, and dwell forever in the place beyond the end of time," Prime recited. No idea what's up either, but niiiiiice use of language and a rather poetic flair.
Hmmm, interesting. I'd noticed that in the comics (and to a lesser extent the cartoon) that Optimus seemed to dislike and almost fear the seekers/flyers the most (and that was likely the cause for how poorly he treats the Aerialbots in comic-canon). I see I'm not the only one to notice it? For some reason, Optimus fears/hates Vosians, more than he even hates Megatron. Such a fun bit of oddness to try and sort out a back story for ^^ Also, I like that treachary is considered 'normal', it's one of the elements of the Decepticons from your koipedia and fics that I really love, and find really fitting to the Decepticons. (Bab5! YAY!!)
Hmmm, I like the interaction with Prime and Megatron over the dinobots, although I think Megatron is erring into uberland again, while yes he's more experianced, Grimlock is a powerhouse and he has beaten Megatron before (I think... I re-read the comics more often than I rewatch the series...)
Cthulhu!! squeee!! prt5
Date: 2010-07-29 04:29 am (UTC)Transformers sinking like stones is a very common plotpoint, and I'm glad to see it mentioned, even if it's not used right now (that could be easily worked out, or just have it where they're dragged up occasionly by events in the fight, I guess)
'The merge room catches fire because apparently nobody's heard of circuit breakers.' BWAH!! ^^
While the getting along plot point is pointless, it does provide a bit of a break from what I assume would have been a slightly longer battle sequence and thus would give readers a chance to catch their breath and mentally go over what's happened so far and lead up to this point as well as beginning to guess what yet lies ahead... or should I say below?
Megatron refuses to yield, VERY in character and a nice point, although Optimus should have perhaps gotten a 'refusing to yield' scene as well? While this is Megatron's show, Optimus is tough and willful, and that is why the war has lasted this long, at least in part. Or so I feel but you might feel differently ^^
'induction hold' niiiiiiiice use of the fact that we've seen TFs transfer energy via their hands a few times!! Also, I continue to adore the constructicons^^ We need more lime green love, darn it all.
Megatron again is uber, however it mostly works, and I like that you've kept him strongly adverse to the Matrix.
Hmmmm, the sequence is out of place, and the cons seem a trifle too down-trodden, however you are right, it would have worked well in Falcon Amongst the Doves.
Hmmm, the Insecticon segment as a teaser ending for the fic proceeding this would have been a nice tagline to draw readers on, cool idea ^^
I like the referance to The Shadow Over Innsmouth, as it's one of my favorites, and again, I love your poetic style.
Optimus in Megatron withdraw doesn't really work though, I'm afraid (sorry) I do like the reference to the Decepticon crown, though
I still like the "ultimate weapon" thread, as it explains several minor things and adds to the back story, as well as making Megatron one hell of a long term planner.
Nice use of Optimus' speech, and a very well written one at that^^
The battle has a nice overall flow to it, and again, I do love me the concept and word of 'datumshrek', so kudos again for making random words for concepts and thus making me a happy reader^^ I like the ending of the fight (and that poor carrier, navybrat is sad to see it gone). Also, antimatter in use, whoo!
I like the Epilogue and how the loose ends with TC1 and Guadian are tied up, in fact to me that is a high point, and I think it would be even more so had the TC-in-the-past plot been there as you'd intended.
The notes at the end also help explain everything and wrap it up well, and again, I must admit to loving the author notes, I wish your other fics had them, though I know I must be the minority (I like commentaries, I'm weird, I know!!)
---------
*looks around for a moment.
Khlûl'-hloooooooooooo.... Argh, I always mentally get that stuck in my head to the theme of 'the loooooooooove boat'
...
as previously mentioned, I'm weird, especially when on medicine for illness that I'm allergic to.
Thank again for posting these fragments, and I'm sorry to see you go. I'll try to go through and review the other fics you've been posting, though I will be going slow.
Re: Cthulhu!! squeee!! prt5
Date: 2010-07-31 05:23 pm (UTC)I guess the Decepticons could use their flight tech - the Seekers "flew" underwater in jet mode in Atlantis, Arise! - and I think they were flying or swimming in Sea Change. I forget what the Autobots did.
Yeah, that was a fail for the sake of FX.
A break was indeed necessary, but this was WAY too long and pointless.
Quite probably. I should have avoided the whole Optimus Annoys Me problem and written that scene from someone else's POV.
Yes, although that's not precisely what I was referring to. Induction hold is rather like a Vulcan nerve pinch only the other way around; the energy transfer via the hands I refer to as a virtual circuit.
I'm not sure how that got there. Perhaps it was mispasted at some point.
Yeah. I'm sure I wrote it but I'm damned if I know where it is now. Probably got lost in the cutting and pasting when I was reorganising the Landwaster series.
Likewise. It had to be there, especially with Atlantis, Arise!
No, it doesn't work, and shouldn't be there. I'm not sure why I left it in during the reorganisation at all.
Megatron only used his antimatter production ability *twice* in the entire canon, and once was aborted before it got anywhere. The other time wasn't actually him. It's a bit sad he never got to really break that one out. I've always liked the idea that the weird reaction he has to Raoul spraying paint into him at the end of Make Tracks was a malfunction in his antimatter system, hence why the Decepticons bailed him out so fast - they didn't want Megatron going supercritical and blowing up half the planet.
Yeah, I do wish I'd gotten the TC1 & Guardian subplot in better condition, but it got mauled around due to the rearrangement of the series.
Well, you can always go and find the LJ posts for said fics and poke me with questions. You'll get about the same level of information.
Glad you enjoyed them - I didn't think anyone was reading them, given the absence of comments. I look forwards to the reviews :D
BTW, what did you think of the plot overall?
Re: Cthulhu!! squeee!! prt4
Date: 2010-07-31 05:14 pm (UTC)Eh, "Emirate" is a political position, like President or Prime Minister. He is or was Emirate of Iacon. The phrase is out of date for Koiverse.
Entirely so.
Overpopulation was mentioned in "State Games" as being a problem ... well, energon shortages were mentioned as a problem, which amounts to the same thing. And given that the Decepticons were unknown to general members of the public like Orion Pax and Dion in "War Dawn" despite being a whole army prior to the Golden Age, something was definitely very wrong. It'd be like a modern European never having heard of Germans.
Yes, rather so. A lot of this is groundwork, me working out ideas, and should have been rewritten for greater elegance.
You do? I'm really not sure about it at all now.
Although it's not directly stolen from The Lord of the Rings, the structure is heavily cribbed from Aragorn's song. Compare with the original "They have passed like rain on the mountain, like a wind in the meadow/The days have gone down in the West behind the hills into shadow".
Optimus dislikes the Seekers/Vosians, and he's pretty harsh on all the spacer Autobots, especially Cosmos. It's a bit odd when you think about it, a guy with a cowboy accent treating a guy with a Mexican accent like dirt.
Yeah, they run on treachery amongst other things. See the bit about the "meritocratic hinge" under Decepticon law in the Koipedia.
He does that. I didn't have him sorted out properly when I was writing this. Although I don't recall Grimlock outright beating Megatron off the top of my head.
Re: Cthulhu!! squeee!! prt3
Date: 2010-07-31 04:37 pm (UTC)Smokescreen most likely would have done everything he could to have avoided hurting the humans, but would have prioritised the safety of the friendly, cooperative, non-hostile humans in the university over the safety of the hostile, aggressive, non-rational humans trying to get into the university. He's one of the less moral Autobots, so he could well have taken some less-than-gentle steps if needs be.
Starscream does have an all-business mode - usually when he's in jet mode, he seems to think more and talk less that way - but he's a five million year old war leader in a sticky situation. He wouldn't be who and what he was if he cracked up under pressure.
They just had to be there. And I'm sure they did.
Yeah, one of the Thundercrackers would have accounted for either the wrong-voice Thundercracker in TFTM or the misplaced Thundercracker at Starscream's coronation. Not sure about the Skywarp.
Marauders kind of aren't. It's just a term I used to tell the difference between Transformers who've been perverted into serving Cthulhu and the ones who haven't.
That's a mistake and shouldn't be there.
As said, Aeon Dreamers has a lot of older scenes, and I did write Megatron as a saintly Gary Stu back then. Ow.
Well, the planet did get moved around rather ...
Once I thought about it, it just made sense. Of course he'd think with his hearing more than his sight. His hearing's far better than his sight. For him to be visual-dominant would be like a human being olifactory-dominant.
Assuming that was Mirage. It may not have been. It could have been just about anyone or anything.
I'd assume if the US government was going to give the Autobots a carrier, it'd be because it was on the way out anyway. And yes, using the Deepwater/Redemption would have made much more sense. And it would have to be way faster than an aircraft carrier anyhow, since it has to get from New York somewhere northwest of Australia in less than two days.
Where was it stated nightgaunts won't fly over water? I really have no idea why Megatron went, except, as stated later, that he's not really outfitted for dealing with swarms of enemies.
Yup. Sea of Rust and all that. After all, why would they use water? Water promotes rust; better to use a nice astringent that won't make you all itchy.
The green refers to the eyes of the Quintessons. The Matrix core, the blue-white glowy bit, is from Primus, and that bit Megatron's got no problem with. The orange shell around it is Quintesson work, and that's why Megatron's not happy with it. The Matrix has been ... messed with. Hence why there are Quintessons in it in FFoD. I seem to have forgotten to put that in the notes. Oops.
No, the martyr sequence should've been removed.
I wouldn't say the War's a stalemate. The Decepticons seem to be winning at this point. The 'cons do act weird when they're over-energized; I think I wrote the reasons as to why up for the Koipedia.