Fish Fingers
Jan. 6th, 2007 09:07 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
koilungfish5/1/07 - 2200 words continuation on the Abashier story.
6/1/07 - Procedural Documentation [TF:G1 SLASH]
"I have here the procedural documentation for replacing the third sub-junction of the subsidiary transformation manifold in a Seeker's upper thoracic chassis," Scrapper said.
"You flirt," Hook breathed, putting down the circuit board he was working on. Nobody else was in the supply chamber. From the machine room next door came the regular thump-thump-thump of Bonecrusher working the radial-hinge cold-press. Hook spread out his hands and rested them gently on the table, careful to exert equal pressure in proportion to length and force-potential of each digit. "All right. Give it to me. Slowly."
Scrapper made a show of setting his drafting pen down and calibrating his vocaliser. " 'Once the Seeker is prepared in accordance with the procedural documentation outlined in -' "
"Skip the foreplay," Hook interrupted hoarsely. "Bonecrusher will finish with the press shortly."
"All right. 'First remove the six latch-pins connecting the third sub-junction to the subsidiary transformation manifold with a B-23-head levering tool, applied at an angle of no more than 30 degrees from the direction of connection and with no greater than seven astrograms of pressure direct force. Ensure that the latch-pin heads are securely fixed in the vertical position.' "
Hook's outermost left finger twitched, ever so slightly. Scrapper paused for a fraction of a second, the reflected light in his optic shifting as he re-pressurised the crystal to focus on Hook's perturbation.
" 'Now locate the loading bar on the outermost side of the sub-junction, as illustrated in diagram 2b -' "
"You didn't tell me there were diagrams!" Hook wailed.
Scrapper's optic band shifted. "We'll save those for later. Now, 'Securing the loading bar firmly in your manipulating device, applying no less than twelve astrograms of pressure direct force and no more than thirty astrograms of pressure direct force per square segbit -' "
Hook whimpered, his outermost fingers quivering.
" '-slowly and carefully extract the sub-junction by pulling on the loading bar. Take great care to extract the sub-junction no further than seven segbits and no less than five segbits. Under no circumstances attempt to pull the sub-junction further out. Do not raise or lower the sub-junction by more than zero point eight segbits.' "
"Scrapper, please!" Hook protested. "Don't read so quickly!" The quiver had spread into his hands, gently shivering on the tabletop.
"Bonecrusher only has seven hundred radial-hinges to do," Scrapper replied. " 'Locate the three universal transdata cables -' "
Hook gasped; Scrapper knew what reading the full acronym out did to him.
" 'Detach the cables by grasping the chassis-end plug and applying precisely three astrograms of pull. Re-secure the loading bar using exactly the same manipulator settings as before and extract the sub-junction until it is free of the loading slot's parallel rails. The sub-junction is now completely removed."
Hook's hands jittered. "Don't stop now!" he pleaded.
Scrapper chuckled. " 'Load the replacement unit or repaired sub-junction into the loading slot.' "
A shiver went through Hook; this was always the best bit.
" Taking extreme care to ensure that the loading slot's parallel rails and the sub-junction's parallel bars are precisely aligned -' Shall I read that again?"
"Please!"
" 'Ensure that the loading slot's parallel rails and the sub-junction's parallel bars are precisely aligned and that there is no more than one degree vertical discrepancy -' "
Hook gasped and slammed his hands down on the table, fingers vibrating. The shock as each hypersensitive digital unit contacted the table, the texture of the surface, the awareness of each motor cable, tensor and hinge - a shudder went through his whole body, jolting him to his feet.
Scrapper reached over and stroked the back of his left hand. Hook moaned and sat down heavily.
"That was a good one," Scrapper said, still running his fingers over the back of Hook's hand.
"Indeed." Hook rested his right hand over Scrapper's. "I don't suppose you'd consider -"
"Finishing the document?"
"Helping me spool up my jib cable? I seem to have gotten rather out of control."
Final Version Posted
6/1/07 - Procedural Documentation [TF:G1 SLASH]
"I have here the procedural documentation for replacing the third sub-junction of the subsidiary transformation manifold in a Seeker's upper thoracic chassis," Scrapper said.
"You flirt," Hook breathed, putting down the circuit board he was working on. Nobody else was in the supply chamber. From the machine room next door came the regular thump-thump-thump of Bonecrusher working the radial-hinge cold-press. Hook spread out his hands and rested them gently on the table, careful to exert equal pressure in proportion to length and force-potential of each digit. "All right. Give it to me. Slowly."
Scrapper made a show of setting his drafting pen down and calibrating his vocaliser. " 'Once the Seeker is prepared in accordance with the procedural documentation outlined in -' "
"Skip the foreplay," Hook interrupted hoarsely. "Bonecrusher will finish with the press shortly."
"All right. 'First remove the six latch-pins connecting the third sub-junction to the subsidiary transformation manifold with a B-23-head levering tool, applied at an angle of no more than 30 degrees from the direction of connection and with no greater than seven astrograms of pressure direct force. Ensure that the latch-pin heads are securely fixed in the vertical position.' "
Hook's outermost left finger twitched, ever so slightly. Scrapper paused for a fraction of a second, the reflected light in his optic shifting as he re-pressurised the crystal to focus on Hook's perturbation.
" 'Now locate the loading bar on the outermost side of the sub-junction, as illustrated in diagram 2b -' "
"You didn't tell me there were diagrams!" Hook wailed.
Scrapper's optic band shifted. "We'll save those for later. Now, 'Securing the loading bar firmly in your manipulating device, applying no less than twelve astrograms of pressure direct force and no more than thirty astrograms of pressure direct force per square segbit -' "
Hook whimpered, his outermost fingers quivering.
" '-slowly and carefully extract the sub-junction by pulling on the loading bar. Take great care to extract the sub-junction no further than seven segbits and no less than five segbits. Under no circumstances attempt to pull the sub-junction further out. Do not raise or lower the sub-junction by more than zero point eight segbits.' "
"Scrapper, please!" Hook protested. "Don't read so quickly!" The quiver had spread into his hands, gently shivering on the tabletop.
"Bonecrusher only has seven hundred radial-hinges to do," Scrapper replied. " 'Locate the three universal transdata cables -' "
Hook gasped; Scrapper knew what reading the full acronym out did to him.
" 'Detach the cables by grasping the chassis-end plug and applying precisely three astrograms of pull. Re-secure the loading bar using exactly the same manipulator settings as before and extract the sub-junction until it is free of the loading slot's parallel rails. The sub-junction is now completely removed."
Hook's hands jittered. "Don't stop now!" he pleaded.
Scrapper chuckled. " 'Load the replacement unit or repaired sub-junction into the loading slot.' "
A shiver went through Hook; this was always the best bit.
" Taking extreme care to ensure that the loading slot's parallel rails and the sub-junction's parallel bars are precisely aligned -' Shall I read that again?"
"Please!"
" 'Ensure that the loading slot's parallel rails and the sub-junction's parallel bars are precisely aligned and that there is no more than one degree vertical discrepancy -' "
Hook gasped and slammed his hands down on the table, fingers vibrating. The shock as each hypersensitive digital unit contacted the table, the texture of the surface, the awareness of each motor cable, tensor and hinge - a shudder went through his whole body, jolting him to his feet.
Scrapper reached over and stroked the back of his left hand. Hook moaned and sat down heavily.
"That was a good one," Scrapper said, still running his fingers over the back of Hook's hand.
"Indeed." Hook rested his right hand over Scrapper's. "I don't suppose you'd consider -"
"Finishing the document?"
"Helping me spool up my jib cable? I seem to have gotten rather out of control."
Final Version Posted
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2007-01-06 09:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-01-06 09:51 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-01-06 09:54 pm (UTC)The whole 'getting turned on by technial proceedures' thing is amusing, although I'm required to read tech manuals often enough that mostly they just make me go 'blah.' Unless I can catch them in unintended innuendo, which doesn't happen too often.
no subject
Date: 2007-01-06 10:08 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-01-06 10:09 pm (UTC)Okay.
re
Date: 2007-01-06 10:22 pm (UTC)What makes it work for me is that you set up the principle, that Hook gets off on having technical manuals read to him, and you sell it the entire way through the story. You manage to make the set up amusing and believable at the same time.
Considering that, in my mind, Transformer sex is mostly a mental exercise, this seems to be taking that idea to its logical (if humorous) extreme.
Dun
Re: re
Date: 2007-01-06 10:39 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-01-06 10:31 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-01-06 10:37 pm (UTC):: wonders what Wayward and Luna will make of this::
no subject
Date: 2007-01-07 12:03 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-01-07 01:31 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-01-07 11:51 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-01-07 01:12 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-01-07 11:51 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-01-07 05:01 am (UTC)I read the first two paragraphs and was like...huh? But it seemed interesting. but goodness, you really sold it to me and I think I like it a lot. Yay for Constructicons and their funny ways of getting off. Great job. *would like to hear Scrapper read this tech manual...*
no subject
Date: 2007-01-07 05:02 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-01-07 11:53 am (UTC)Glad you liked it :)
no subject
Date: 2007-01-07 03:35 pm (UTC)Nitpick: Should be astronewtons or something, not astrograms. Grams are mass, and pull is force. Granted, it'd be funny if Hook went off on a rant about how the manual had it wrong mid... action.
no subject
Date: 2007-01-07 05:14 pm (UTC)I was pretty sure I'd get the terms wrong somewhere. If I were to upgrade this into a proper fic, that'd be the first thing that got changed. Thanks for pointing me in the right direction.
no subject
Date: 2007-01-09 11:12 pm (UTC)I like the italics for certain parts of the manual - makes it easier to picture Scrapper deliberating over those particular phrases and Hook's responses, even when you don't spell them out - and Hook calling Scrapper a flirt did make me giggle, since it's all too easy to picture the pleased-smug tone to Scrapper's voice when he announces what he's got. ^_^
no subject
Date: 2007-01-10 12:45 pm (UTC):: sneh sneh sneh::
no subject
Date: 2007-02-10 03:25 am (UTC)Only a Constructicon...And yes, Scrapper IS such an awful, awful tease...