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koilungfish28/3/07 - 1320 words on The Lunatic Cabaret
29/3/07 - Fail
30/3/07 - What Has Happened To Ravage?
There were few things in life more bemusing than a supine and unconscious Ravage.
Thundercracker gingerly prodded the saboteur with his foot. Nothing. Ravage didn't wobble, didn't twitch, he didn't even growl.
Thundercracker signaled the base computer to go to alert-1, then leaned over and looked at the cassette more closely. There were no marks on him that would indicate a fight, no burns, no scratches. He looked around. The wall-vents were untouched, there were no marks on the walls or floor. The air was damp and salty, as normal for the undersea base, without the familiar gunshot scent of ozone and hot metal.
[Thundercracker to Soundwave,] he radioed. [I just found Ravage unconscious in a corridor. No sign of an intruder.]
[Suggestion; repair bay,] was the reply.
Suggestion; remove the rebar from up your thrusters, Thundercracker thought, carefully picking Ravage up. The saboteur was locked into position, limbs sticking up in the air, head back, mouth open. What happened to you? As he carried Ravage towards repair bay, a thought came to him. [Skywarp, I just found Ravage unconscious in a corridor.]
[I didn't do it,] Skywarp responded immediately. [I've been in the control centre for the last joor and Megatron can vouch for it!]
[Huh. Well, tell Megatron and see what he says. I've already called an alert-1.] He continued walking, passing one of the hydrox plants busy turning water into energy, and a few seconds later the base computer signaled an alert-2.
Skywarp appeared a few paces ahead of him. "Megatron signaled alert-2 until we find out what happened."
"I hadn't noticed," Thundercracker said dryly, looking down at the saboteur, rigid and unresponsive in his arms. "No ideas on board."
"Think he just ... ran out of fuel?" asked Skywarp, leaning over to peer at the cassette.
"He was lying on his back with his legs in the air."
"Well, maybe he was trying to scratch his back and broke something," Skywarp suggested as they continued on towards repair bay.
"Not likely," Thundercracker grumbled. He shook Ravage gently. Nothing, not even a rattle. "It's like he's totally deactivated."
"Blew a breaker?"
"What, just walking down a corridor?" Thundercracker raised his voice. "Skywarp, this is Ravage. He doesn't just do stupid things in the middle of corridors. Not everybody is you."
"Aww, come on!" Skywarp protested, waving his hands. "When was the last time I did something stupid in the middle of a corridor?"
Thundercracker looked at him pointedly. Skywarp looked back with as much guileless innocence as he could muster. Thundercracker looked even more pointedly down at Skywarp's feet.
Skywarp shrugged. "It was an accident."
"You teleported your feet into the floor."
"I was experimenting!" Skywarp wailed. "And anyway, that was over a million years ago!"
"One of these days you're going to get us both killed," Thundercracker groused.
There was a honk from behind. Thundercracker looked around sharply to see Long Haul had snuck up behind them in vehicle mode. His bed was full of drums, all with bright labels on them.
"Can you two walk any slower?" Long Haul asked. "I've got a cargo of sodium and there's an alert-2 on."
"We noticed," Skywarp said.
"Here's the alert-2," Thundercracker continued, holding Ravage out for Long Haul to see.
"Lower," the transporter ordered. Thundercracker bent down and held Ravage near Long Haul's grill. "Huh. Blown a breaker?"
"In the middle of a corridor?" Thundercracker repeated.
"Okay, maybe not," Long Haul admitted. "Get him to - hey! Stop that!"
Skywarp paused in the act of opening Long Haul's cab door. "What?"
"Leave my cab alone!"
"What? If we put Ravage in here, you can take him to repair bay -"
"Carry, carry, carry!" Long Haul snapped. "What, don't you think I could repair him?"
"With all that sodium on board?" Thundercracker wondered aloud.
"I could transform!" Long Haul yelled. "Why not give him to Skywarp? He could get Ravage to repair bay faster than I could."
"What?" Skywarp sounded amazed. "I'm not teleporting him anywhere, he's dangerous!"
"He's unconscious," Thundercracker pointed out, holding the saboteur out.
"That's why he's dangerous!" Skywarp cried. "I'm not teleporting someone who's gone offline for no reason! He might explode! Or I might catch it!"
"You'll catch one when I get a free hand," Thundercracker rumbled, sticking a foot out to stop Long Haul as he tried to drive past. "Ow!"
"Serves you right!" Long Haul chuckled, making to drive off.
"Oh no you don't!" Skywarp said, jumping on Long Haul. The transporter yelped, braking, and Thundercracker hopped up onto him too. "Forward, bold dump truck!" Skywarp cried, pointing dramatically as he seated himself securely atop Long Haul's cab.
"I hate you all!" Long Haul shouted, accelerating towards the repair bay.
Long Haul drove into repair bay and stopped dead. Thundercracker and Skywarp slipped down.
Skywarp leant down and gave Long Haul a pat on the cab roof. "Good transporter! Doing your bit for the Decepticon Empire!"
"Bolt you," Long Haul grumbled, driving off, barrels rattling. "Bolt you and your buddy."
"Hey, we need Ravage fixed!" Thundercracker shouted at him as he went.
"Fixed?" came the voice of an unseen Constructicon. Thundercracker turned around and saw Mixmaster coming out of the cleanroom, wiping his hands on a sterilizing pad. "That'll be what the alert-2 is about, right? Right?"
"Right," Thundercracker said, holding out Ravage.
"Right," said Skywarp, looking around for something to fiddle with.
"Right!" Mixmaster beamed, pointing Thundercracker towards a repair plinth. Thundercracker scowled and set the saboteur down. "Right right right ... wrong." He poked Ravage in the side.
"He hasn't moved since I found him," Thundercracker volunteered.
"Not surprising," Mixmaster said with a smile, touching a control on the side of the repair plinth. Two drawers of tools slid out from the sides of the plinth. Mixmaster picked over them by touch as he leant over Ravage, sniffing at him. "He smells interesting!" He looked up at Thundercracker. "Where did you find him?"
"Uh..." Thundercracker gave him the geo-positioning coordinates rather than play 'no, not that corridor, that one' with Mixmaster.
"Hmph!" Mixmaster said thoughtfully, and started running his hands over Ravage. "Skywarp, that is not a good thing to play with."
"What?" Skywarp said guiltily. "Me?"
"Yes, you," Thundercracker said, not turning around. "Put it down."
There was a quiet clink of something being put down. Skywarp wandered over and stood by Thundercracker. "So what's wrong with him?" he asked.
"Did you hear Mixmaster tell me?" Thundercracker responded.
"No."
"That tell you something?"
"Oh," Skywarp said. "Megatron told me to stay with Ravage until there was some information."
"Information schminformation," Mixmaster said loudly. "What we need is a shot of energon!"
"Don't we all?" Thundercracker said, raising his gaze to the ceiling.
"He ran out of fuel?" Skywarp asked curiously.
"In a manner of speaking," Mixmaster snickered, attaching a siphon to Ravage's throat. "He ran and ran and ran and ran..." He trailed off into giggling.
Ravage's legs twitched. His optics began to glow. He paddled the air for a second, then rolled over and lay splayed out on the repair plinth, head down.
"Feeling bright and cheerful today?" Mixmaster asked, chuckling softly.
[I hurt. Even my missiles hurt,] Ravage groaned. [I am going to kill Soundwave.]
"Soundwave did that to you?" Skywarp asked.
[Soundwave...] Ravage groaned and shut his optics off. Mixmaster fussed over him busily, humming softly as he attached what Thundercracker recognized easily as a nanoil injector to the saboteur's side. [Last night. Soundwave over-energized. Badly. I was ... inside.]
"I didn't know you could siphon his fuel supplies in there," Thundercracker said, trying to ignore Skywarp's thoughtful expression.
[Can't. He dumped fuel into his tape pack. I was swimming in it,] Ravage complained.
"That's disgusting," Thundercracker said, recoiling at the thought.
"And so you got a nice bath of partly-processed high-grade oil-energon admixture," Mixmaster continued around his chuckles. "All the joys of over-energizing without all that nasty horrible enjoying the taste part." Ravage's only response was to put a paw over one of his optics. "And then, since you were overloaded with high-energy substances, you crawled off to find a quiet corner to burn out in."
"Only you ended up in the middle of a corridor," Skywarp said. "What happened?"
['What happened?' You fool! Argh! I'll kill Soundwave when I can stand up!]
"Skywarp, you idiot," was all Thundercracker could say.
"What?" Skywarp asked, tugging on Thundercracker's arm. "What?"
"Skywarp!" Thundercracker groaned. "He passed out in the corridor!"
Skywarp stared at him, then blinked, then looked at Ravage lying embarrassed and agonized, and at Mixmaster giggling quietly over him, then back at Thundercracker. "You mean I've got to go and tell Megatron we went to alert-2 because Ravage was over-energized?"
"No," Thundercracker replied, "you’ve got to go and tell Megatron we went to alert-2 because Soundwave was over-energized and gave Ravage his burnout!"
"Oh," Skywarp said thoughtfully. "So ... what about the others?"
"Others?" Thundercracker wondered with a sinking feeling.
"The other cassettes. If Soundwave was drinking, were they..."
[Over-energized,] groaned Ravage, [as the proverbial Emirate.]
Skywarp looked to Thundercracker, his expression pained. "Don't tell me we're going to have to scour the base looking for the little runts."
"Of course not," Thundercracker assured him, patting his shoulder, "that's going to be Soundwave's job."
Final Version Posted
29/3/07 - Fail
30/3/07 - What Has Happened To Ravage?
There were few things in life more bemusing than a supine and unconscious Ravage.
Thundercracker gingerly prodded the saboteur with his foot. Nothing. Ravage didn't wobble, didn't twitch, he didn't even growl.
Thundercracker signaled the base computer to go to alert-1, then leaned over and looked at the cassette more closely. There were no marks on him that would indicate a fight, no burns, no scratches. He looked around. The wall-vents were untouched, there were no marks on the walls or floor. The air was damp and salty, as normal for the undersea base, without the familiar gunshot scent of ozone and hot metal.
[Thundercracker to Soundwave,] he radioed. [I just found Ravage unconscious in a corridor. No sign of an intruder.]
[Suggestion; repair bay,] was the reply.
Suggestion; remove the rebar from up your thrusters, Thundercracker thought, carefully picking Ravage up. The saboteur was locked into position, limbs sticking up in the air, head back, mouth open. What happened to you? As he carried Ravage towards repair bay, a thought came to him. [Skywarp, I just found Ravage unconscious in a corridor.]
[I didn't do it,] Skywarp responded immediately. [I've been in the control centre for the last joor and Megatron can vouch for it!]
[Huh. Well, tell Megatron and see what he says. I've already called an alert-1.] He continued walking, passing one of the hydrox plants busy turning water into energy, and a few seconds later the base computer signaled an alert-2.
Skywarp appeared a few paces ahead of him. "Megatron signaled alert-2 until we find out what happened."
"I hadn't noticed," Thundercracker said dryly, looking down at the saboteur, rigid and unresponsive in his arms. "No ideas on board."
"Think he just ... ran out of fuel?" asked Skywarp, leaning over to peer at the cassette.
"He was lying on his back with his legs in the air."
"Well, maybe he was trying to scratch his back and broke something," Skywarp suggested as they continued on towards repair bay.
"Not likely," Thundercracker grumbled. He shook Ravage gently. Nothing, not even a rattle. "It's like he's totally deactivated."
"Blew a breaker?"
"What, just walking down a corridor?" Thundercracker raised his voice. "Skywarp, this is Ravage. He doesn't just do stupid things in the middle of corridors. Not everybody is you."
"Aww, come on!" Skywarp protested, waving his hands. "When was the last time I did something stupid in the middle of a corridor?"
Thundercracker looked at him pointedly. Skywarp looked back with as much guileless innocence as he could muster. Thundercracker looked even more pointedly down at Skywarp's feet.
Skywarp shrugged. "It was an accident."
"You teleported your feet into the floor."
"I was experimenting!" Skywarp wailed. "And anyway, that was over a million years ago!"
"One of these days you're going to get us both killed," Thundercracker groused.
There was a honk from behind. Thundercracker looked around sharply to see Long Haul had snuck up behind them in vehicle mode. His bed was full of drums, all with bright labels on them.
"Can you two walk any slower?" Long Haul asked. "I've got a cargo of sodium and there's an alert-2 on."
"We noticed," Skywarp said.
"Here's the alert-2," Thundercracker continued, holding Ravage out for Long Haul to see.
"Lower," the transporter ordered. Thundercracker bent down and held Ravage near Long Haul's grill. "Huh. Blown a breaker?"
"In the middle of a corridor?" Thundercracker repeated.
"Okay, maybe not," Long Haul admitted. "Get him to - hey! Stop that!"
Skywarp paused in the act of opening Long Haul's cab door. "What?"
"Leave my cab alone!"
"What? If we put Ravage in here, you can take him to repair bay -"
"Carry, carry, carry!" Long Haul snapped. "What, don't you think I could repair him?"
"With all that sodium on board?" Thundercracker wondered aloud.
"I could transform!" Long Haul yelled. "Why not give him to Skywarp? He could get Ravage to repair bay faster than I could."
"What?" Skywarp sounded amazed. "I'm not teleporting him anywhere, he's dangerous!"
"He's unconscious," Thundercracker pointed out, holding the saboteur out.
"That's why he's dangerous!" Skywarp cried. "I'm not teleporting someone who's gone offline for no reason! He might explode! Or I might catch it!"
"You'll catch one when I get a free hand," Thundercracker rumbled, sticking a foot out to stop Long Haul as he tried to drive past. "Ow!"
"Serves you right!" Long Haul chuckled, making to drive off.
"Oh no you don't!" Skywarp said, jumping on Long Haul. The transporter yelped, braking, and Thundercracker hopped up onto him too. "Forward, bold dump truck!" Skywarp cried, pointing dramatically as he seated himself securely atop Long Haul's cab.
"I hate you all!" Long Haul shouted, accelerating towards the repair bay.
Long Haul drove into repair bay and stopped dead. Thundercracker and Skywarp slipped down.
Skywarp leant down and gave Long Haul a pat on the cab roof. "Good transporter! Doing your bit for the Decepticon Empire!"
"Bolt you," Long Haul grumbled, driving off, barrels rattling. "Bolt you and your buddy."
"Hey, we need Ravage fixed!" Thundercracker shouted at him as he went.
"Fixed?" came the voice of an unseen Constructicon. Thundercracker turned around and saw Mixmaster coming out of the cleanroom, wiping his hands on a sterilizing pad. "That'll be what the alert-2 is about, right? Right?"
"Right," Thundercracker said, holding out Ravage.
"Right," said Skywarp, looking around for something to fiddle with.
"Right!" Mixmaster beamed, pointing Thundercracker towards a repair plinth. Thundercracker scowled and set the saboteur down. "Right right right ... wrong." He poked Ravage in the side.
"He hasn't moved since I found him," Thundercracker volunteered.
"Not surprising," Mixmaster said with a smile, touching a control on the side of the repair plinth. Two drawers of tools slid out from the sides of the plinth. Mixmaster picked over them by touch as he leant over Ravage, sniffing at him. "He smells interesting!" He looked up at Thundercracker. "Where did you find him?"
"Uh..." Thundercracker gave him the geo-positioning coordinates rather than play 'no, not that corridor, that one' with Mixmaster.
"Hmph!" Mixmaster said thoughtfully, and started running his hands over Ravage. "Skywarp, that is not a good thing to play with."
"What?" Skywarp said guiltily. "Me?"
"Yes, you," Thundercracker said, not turning around. "Put it down."
There was a quiet clink of something being put down. Skywarp wandered over and stood by Thundercracker. "So what's wrong with him?" he asked.
"Did you hear Mixmaster tell me?" Thundercracker responded.
"No."
"That tell you something?"
"Oh," Skywarp said. "Megatron told me to stay with Ravage until there was some information."
"Information schminformation," Mixmaster said loudly. "What we need is a shot of energon!"
"Don't we all?" Thundercracker said, raising his gaze to the ceiling.
"He ran out of fuel?" Skywarp asked curiously.
"In a manner of speaking," Mixmaster snickered, attaching a siphon to Ravage's throat. "He ran and ran and ran and ran..." He trailed off into giggling.
Ravage's legs twitched. His optics began to glow. He paddled the air for a second, then rolled over and lay splayed out on the repair plinth, head down.
"Feeling bright and cheerful today?" Mixmaster asked, chuckling softly.
[I hurt. Even my missiles hurt,] Ravage groaned. [I am going to kill Soundwave.]
"Soundwave did that to you?" Skywarp asked.
[Soundwave...] Ravage groaned and shut his optics off. Mixmaster fussed over him busily, humming softly as he attached what Thundercracker recognized easily as a nanoil injector to the saboteur's side. [Last night. Soundwave over-energized. Badly. I was ... inside.]
"I didn't know you could siphon his fuel supplies in there," Thundercracker said, trying to ignore Skywarp's thoughtful expression.
[Can't. He dumped fuel into his tape pack. I was swimming in it,] Ravage complained.
"That's disgusting," Thundercracker said, recoiling at the thought.
"And so you got a nice bath of partly-processed high-grade oil-energon admixture," Mixmaster continued around his chuckles. "All the joys of over-energizing without all that nasty horrible enjoying the taste part." Ravage's only response was to put a paw over one of his optics. "And then, since you were overloaded with high-energy substances, you crawled off to find a quiet corner to burn out in."
"Only you ended up in the middle of a corridor," Skywarp said. "What happened?"
['What happened?' You fool! Argh! I'll kill Soundwave when I can stand up!]
"Skywarp, you idiot," was all Thundercracker could say.
"What?" Skywarp asked, tugging on Thundercracker's arm. "What?"
"Skywarp!" Thundercracker groaned. "He passed out in the corridor!"
Skywarp stared at him, then blinked, then looked at Ravage lying embarrassed and agonized, and at Mixmaster giggling quietly over him, then back at Thundercracker. "You mean I've got to go and tell Megatron we went to alert-2 because Ravage was over-energized?"
"No," Thundercracker replied, "you’ve got to go and tell Megatron we went to alert-2 because Soundwave was over-energized and gave Ravage his burnout!"
"Oh," Skywarp said thoughtfully. "So ... what about the others?"
"Others?" Thundercracker wondered with a sinking feeling.
"The other cassettes. If Soundwave was drinking, were they..."
[Over-energized,] groaned Ravage, [as the proverbial Emirate.]
Skywarp looked to Thundercracker, his expression pained. "Don't tell me we're going to have to scour the base looking for the little runts."
"Of course not," Thundercracker assured him, patting his shoulder, "that's going to be Soundwave's job."
Final Version Posted
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Date: 2007-03-30 10:22 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-30 11:13 pm (UTC)